The Matrix

I've just returned to Dakar after a two-week training in Thies.  I was officially a volunteer before, but now I suppose it's more official.  I'm now allowed to start projects, so there's nothing to hide behind anymore, although it's not like I was doing that before anyway.  I won't go into too much detail about the training as it was mainly technical material that, frankly, isn't interesting enough to the general public to receive even a passing mention.  I will mention one interesting exercise that we did on the final day of training. We were asked to answer these three questions:

1.  What is expected of you as a Peace Corps volunteer?

2.  What is expected of you as a volunteer in your sector (i.e. CED, Health, or Ag)?

3.  What is expected of you as a volunteer in your work zone (i.e. physical region)?

The interesting part is that we also answered these questions on our second day in country and we were given our previous answers to compare.  I wasn't interested to see how stupid or naive I was because not much has changed on that front.  What that exercise allowed me to see is the level of specificity with which I could now answer those questions.  My answers were no longer one-word, terribly vague answers like "cooperation".  They were specific, relevant, and actionable.  The training program of Peace Corps Senegal is far from perfect and is still a work in progress, but they claim to have the best developed training program in the Peace Corps community and I believe them.  This is not your mom and pop's Peace Corps, folks. We're organized, prepared, and ready to work on clearly stated goals and objectives.

Upon returning to Dakar, I had an interesting feeling that was to this point in my service unfamiliar to me.  I felt like I understood things.  I was, to a certain extent, Neo in The Matrix beginning to see the source code for the first time.  Upon my homecoming, I saw that all of the hustle and complexity of Dakar began to make a little bit of sense.  I was starting to see the underlying forces that drive this mass of over a million people. I knew what cars went where, where to find them, and how much to pay.  I knew where all the neighborhoods were.  I was understanding Wolof spoken on the streets and amongst my family members.  I learned that my family isn't talking about how rude I'm being as I had feared on several occasions.  They're talking about Ebola... just like everybody else in the world.  I think I can finally say the following sentence without embarrassment or qualification. I speak Wolof. Now, don't take this comparison too far.  I still have a lot to learn.  A lot.  Also, I'm still far from fluent and still meet situations every day that I don't entirely understand. It's just that, upon returning to Dakar after being away for a couple weeks, I was acutely aware of how much progress I had made in just my three months of living there.  I now have more confidence than ever that I will know Dakar like I know my hometown and will get to a respectable level in Wolof and will continue to get better at French.

Unfortunately, things aren't all sunshine and rainbows.  This is literally true because the rains have finally started here in Dakar.  They're about three weeks late.  We'll see how the rain total for the year ends up, but chances are it will be lower than average.  It's also true figuratively because, despite my confidence in my ability to perform my work, I have less confidence in my ability to make friends, senegalese or otherwise, in this country.  It's honestly not a major concern for me.  I've certainly done pretty well for long stretches without having friends that I could lean on.  It's just that the ability to make a personal connection makes life (and work for that matter) a little easier.  It remains to be seen, but it's quite likely that the same thing that happened at U.Va. will happen here.  I could come out of an intense 2 year experience with fewer friends than I had before due to consistently putting my work and myself ahead of others.  Now that I write out my priorities, I suppose it's not exactly a mystery why I have trouble. I do freely admit that it is, in fact, almost entirely my own doing. Honestly, if work goes well and I keep an open line of communication with my family, it will be a non-issue as it has been in the past.  If one of those things falls through, however, I fear that I lack the support structure here to hold me up. 

Sorry for getting a little personal there. I try to censor myself as little as possible and that's just what I happened to be thinking about at the time. Anyway, as I previously mentioned, we've past my in-service training, so there are no major barriers or milestones left that I need to cross in my service. From now on, it's just about carving out a little life for myself here in Senegal one day at a time.